I recently delved into Jennifer Dukes Lee’s “The Happiness Dare.” The crux of the book is the idea of identifying your distinct style of happiness, encouraging you to enrich your life with activities that genuinely bring you joy, rather than mimicking what brings others joy.
She introduces a tool for self-assessment – a test to identify one’s happiness style.
Five Distinct Happiness Styles
Lee classifies happiness into five categories:
The Achiever
These individuals thrive on accomplishments and productivity. While they savor weekends, the prospect of a new work week excites them just as much.
The Connector
They are the heart and soul of deep human connections. Energized by close relationships, they actively fight feelings of isolation. Don’t be surprised if they strike up a conversation with a stranger and come away knowing their life’s story.
The Adventurer
For them, joy isn’t tied to materialistic acquisitions. The allure of an impromptu journey or the thrill of living spontaneously is what captivates them.
The Benefactor
Always looking out for others, these souls find happiness in ensuring others are happy, often working behind the scenes, unnoticed.
The Contemplator
They cherish solitude, quiet, and introspection. Books are their escape, and given a choice, they’d immerse in profound discussions with a select few over general banter with a crowd. Though some might find them distant, that’s far from the truth.
While reading, I gauged my own disposition. Discovering I’m primarily a Contemplator with Achiever tendencies was enlightening. My spouse, interestingly, is an Achiever with Contemplator leanings. This similarity perhaps accounts for our harmonious views.
The Importance of Recognizing Your Partner’s Happiness Quotient
I genuinely believe couples should undergo Lee’s happiness assessment pre-marriage. Many couples, inadvertently, try molding each other’s personalities – a task that’s often futile. Additionally, disagreements over financial decisions often stem from divergent happiness styles.
Consider a Connector who treasures social outings. He might prioritize dinners, shows, or hosting elaborate feasts for friends. If paired with a Contemplator, she might view his expenditures as unnecessary, given her preference for serene environments.
But, if they both undergo the assessment, she might appreciate his need for human connection, recognizing why he values outings. They could then establish a budget for his social evenings, while he understands her need for peace and introspection.
When couples share similar happiness styles, like my spouse and I, monetary disputes are infrequent. However, divergent happiness styles can lead to differing financial opinions. Recognizing these differences can pave the way to mutual understanding.
How do you envision you and your partner’s results if you underwent this happiness assessment? How do you navigate your financial variances?
